Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Beauty contest Q&A

Mandaya Moore has a hilarious account of a recent gay beauty contest he attended, ending with this Q&A:

Question: What is your best asset and why?

Mahal (that's the name of the contestant): Good evening ladies and gentlemen, board of judges, barangay captain. Thank you for that very beautiful question. What is my best asset and why? My best asset? My eyes. Because with my eyes I can see the world tonight with Loren Legarda and Angelo Castro Jr. Thank you.


Which had me recalling my own treasure trove of "beaucon" Q&A stories, some true, some fanciful. Here goes:

Story #1. This happened in Albay.

Emcee: Contestant No. 7, here's your question: What is your favorite animal, and why?

Contestant: (Confident) My favorite animal is a bird, because it can fly, it symbolizes freedom!

(Audience claps wildly.)

Emcee: Good answer! So what is your favorite bird?

Contestant: My favorite bird is ah... eh... chicken.

Story #2. Somewhere in Laguna

Emcee: Here's your question. Titanic was called the ship of dreams. Why?

Contestant: (Thinks long and hard, crowd beginning to hoot). Ahh... Flis rifit.

Emcee: Your question is, Titanic was called the ship of dreams. Why?

Contestant: (Thinks long ang hard again, then...) That's true.

Story #3. Just heard this from a friend.

Emcee: What is your motto in life?

Contestant: My motto in life? Opportunity knocks but once and I thank you!

Story #4. A recent male beauty pageant in Intramuros

Emcee (Boy Abunda no less): Contestant so-and-so, eto ang tanong. Ano sa tingin mo ang natatanging kaugalian nating mga Pinoy na dapat nating pahalagahan at ipamana sa ating mga anak?

Contestant: Dapat ho tayo magtapon ng basura.

Story #5. Joke making the rounds

Emcee: What do you think is the biggest problem facing the youth today?

Contestant: Drugs.

(Audience cheers.)

Emcee. Well said! Why do you say drugs?

Contestant: Ang mahal kasi e!

Story #5. Not Q&A, but funny nonetheless.

This girl has joined and lost in so many beauty contests, and she's deeply frustrated. One Sunday it's her turn to do the reading at Mass. She begins:

A reading from the letter of Paul... (flings her arms up) TO HEBREW CITY!


beektur said...

Harharharhar. Buti na lang sinamahan mo ng mga kuwento tungkol sa isang lalaki at babae, kung hindi aakusahan kita ng panglalait sa mga bading. Ngayon aakusahan na lang kita ng panglalait sa mga magagandang sumasali sa mga beauty contests. ;)

lewis said...


Rick M. said...

gibbs cadiz said...
i miss tagaytay! punta tayo? kulitin mo si chris! :)

--TARA LET'S! Kuha tayo ng photos!

snglguy said...

Har har har, "beauty and brains" is indeed a myth. :-D

Citizen of the World said...


This made my day po. Panalo!

Dati Noon said...

beektur and Lewis I enjoy your comments!!! Diverse ko noh?!



gibbs cadiz said...

beektur, lewis, allan, magkakakilala kayo? :)

ey rick, planuhin natin with chris! but point-and-shoot digicam lang ang meron ako ha, nothing fancy. :)

snglguy, there ARE exceptions!--few and precious. :)

salamat, citizen of the world. :)

beektur said...

gibbs -- you confirm...isa ako sa exceptions. mwahaha.

Corsarius said...

"Contestant: My favorite bird is ah... eh... chicken.

A reading from the letter of Paul... (flings her arms up) TO HEBREW CITY!"

LOL. talagang napatawa mo ako Gibbs :P Baka marami ka pang collection ng "beaucon" Q&A stories, hehe.

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