Friday, May 25, 2007

Closet-busting letter

[To the TODAY editors, June 1995]: Thank you for publishing the incredibly homophobic, galactically stupid letter of one Cris Villahermosa II expressing the "waves of loathing and revulsion" he felt over Gerard Ramos' apparent penchant for what's "in between Mel Gibson's legs." Allow me to answer him in kind.

Dear Mr. Villahermosa: Hey, asshole, nice phrase, but you can't imagine the waves of loathing and revulsion that equally hit me as I read your letter.

Not only are you an ignorant, narrow-minded dope; your values are also screwed up pretty bad. You can't believe there are respectable gays? Why, this may shock you and shatter your self-righteous "straight" sensibilities, but my friends and I happen to be gay and are living full, happy and self-respecting lives. Far more happy and secure, I bet, than the miserably prejudiced, hate-filled existence you are barely able to hack on this planet.

Most of us are no better or worse than straight people--we pay our taxes, we work hard, we nurture our families and children--but at least no gay I've met so far has ever wished on anybody the unspeakable fate of the Holocaust victims. You have, and my oh my, you tell us you're a "normal" guy?

Honey, we're no sickos. You are.

And since you seem to wax orgasmic at the thought of Hitler butchering homosexuals and other "inferior" races, tell me, how do you think you would have fared under him? Ha, I'd love to see how your dear old Adolf would've treated a flat-nosed, brown-skinned, pudgy little non-Aryan like you!

No, Mr. Villahermosa, we're not about to take any more shit from you or from anybody else about us. By the way, my gay AND straight friends and I are curious: why the "revulsion" at the thing between Mel Gibson's legs? You sound as if it's so alien to you. Were you born without it?


The letter got published a day after I faxed it to the paper.

And just like that, I was out--never to return to that horrid closet. If you'd like to hear the story of what led me, at 25 years old, to finally kick the door open and write this enraged letter, tune in to Part 1 of our new Troika podcast. Migs and McVie also share their own "volt-out" stories.

Part 2 has more of our thoughts on coming out, e.g., dealing with hostile family and friends, doing it the "strategic" way, why come out at all, reconciling gayness and faith, etc. For levity's sake, I couldn't help injecting into the mix these two coming-out anecdotes (tell me which generation you belong to):

Scenario 1
Son: "'Nay, bakla po ako."
Mom: (Crying) "Kasi naman ikaw, anak, di ka nagsisimba!"

Scenario 2
Son: "'Nay, bading po ako."
Mom: "Hmmp, nakikiuso ka lang."

There's a Part 3 coming up ("Mano Po" ito, until episode 1,046!), where a guest podcaster, RG Boy of Gay N Game, joins us to talk about his dilemma: whether to tell his family that, while he digs Ragnarok and WarCraft, he also thinks Bruce Quebral of Pinoy Big Brother is hot. Now there's a topic.

(Read his post about how, during the entire session, "Tagaktak ang pawis sa kalbo kong ulo dahil sa kaba!")

Feedback's welcome as always, folks--not just on the topic, but on how we do our podcasts. Comment away!


nina said...

Scenario 2
Son: "'Nay, bading po ako."
Mom: "Hmmp, nakikiuso ka lang."

Haha, panalo ito. Meron kayang nanay na ang reaction eh "buti naman umamin ka na" ?

Phoenix said...

Yeah Gibbs!!! Tell it like it is! If I were in your place I would have done the same thing.. But you know what? Real men (who also happen to be intelligent) are true gentlemen. They don't bask or discriminate. The creeps are mostly the ones unable to open their minds.. Their problem, not ours

pat said...

it's always amusing to read about homophobes. they somehow make you feel relieved of your not being straight. does that make sense? awesome retort by the way.

josh said...

bravo! again to ur podcast & for featuring here your infamous letter to the editors of TODAY. BTW, i am also an EX w/ 3 yrs of formation from a religious community in Cotabato CT. Again, tnx alot frm ur insights in d troika's podcast. it really made me teary eyed.

gayngame said...

It was a great experience being in that podcast. Thanks Migs, Gibbs and Mcvie.

First time kaya kinabahan. hehehe.

the philosphical bastard said...

some people are just born to hate

snglguy said...

What? You mean that stupid letter writer was a goose-stepping closet Nazi? Hehe, interesting... a brown-skinned Nazi. Zeig Heil!

butch said...

well said, everything is well said... and the letter, i want every homophobic person to read it...haha

Andy said...

tnx for visiting my blog, sure we can exchange links.

Althea said...

"By the way, my gay AND straight friends and I are curious: why the "revulsion" at the thing between Mel Gibson's legs? You sound as if it's so alien to you. Were you born without it?"

Touche! Hahaha! And congratulations for coming out!

And yes, let's exchange links! :D

I had a coming-out-moment with a gay friend as well:

Him: "Bakla ako!"
Me: "Hwha?! Crush kita eh!"

watson said...

Saludo ako sa yo Gibbs for making a stand!

At ginawa ko na rin yung tag! hehe

gibbs cadiz said...

hey NINA, meron na ding nanay na ganyan, kokonti pa nga lang. :)

hey PHOENIX, yeah, the ones most secure about themselves tend to be the most open-minded and tolerant. thanks for your comment. :)

hey PAT, salamat! actually, reading the retort now medyo nagki-cringe na ako--too shrill, haha. but i was angry then, and i had a valid reason to be, so i guess oks lang. :)

hi JOSH, ex-convict ka din? yay, kwentuhan minsan, haha!

hello RGBOY of gayngame! musta, dami mo na fans a! :)

hey PAOLO, you're right. :)

hehe, what a dolt, SNGLGUY, right? to believe that what's detrimental to someone of his own skin won't be detrimental to him. :)

hey BUTCH, salamat! :)

ALTHEA! thanks for the link. am sure very good friends pa din kayo ng former crush mo. :)

hey WATSON, thanks! i'll check out the tag, salamat for obliging me, haha. :)

Annamanila said...

I can imagine how you felt writing that letter. Delicious ha? At lumalabas ang brilliance pag galit na galit. At lumabas ka din. :)


gibbs cadiz said...

hey ANNA, hehe, mas napapa-english ako pag galit, tipsy or, uhurm, infatuated. ashushu! :)

Anonymous said...

not sure how to react to this. i am personally not a homophobe. wala akong malaking galit sa sangkabadingan. but my husband is a different case. at age 10, he was abused by a gay older cousin. the experience kinda fucked up his brain so he goes into intermittent lashings at gay folk. while there are morally upright gays, we have to admit na meron din talagang mga nanghiram ng utak sa hayup.

f i l l i b u s t e r o said...

at ang taray ha... alam mo love na kita ehehehehe!

your letter and this post made me decide to link you to my blog at salamat for linking mine to yours a long time ago.

gibbs cadiz said...

ey FILLIBUSTERO, ikaw lang e, tagal na kita ni-link pero suplado ka dati, hehe. thanks for adding me now. :)

f i l l i b u s t e r o said...

hindi naman po sa suplado ako, kasi po ang nili-link ko lang sa blog ko ay either friends or really delicious (personal) blogs for me. and nung mga panahong yon puro ata tungkol sa theater, plays at kung aning-aning na mga bagay na hindi naman ako maka-relate ever ang nababasa ko ditey. recently ko lang napagtanto na mahal na kita, yun lang po, wag na itanong kung bakit. :)

i'll be visiting more often.

antonsg said...

mine was:

son: ma, bading po ako.
mom: hay naku iho, magpray ka na lang.
son: ma! i've been praying all my life. pero bading pa rin ako!
mom: nagpra-pray ka na nung 5 years old ka pa?
son to self: balaj to!

it is amazing that your response got published. at least the dailies in manila are not bias compared to the only broadsheet here in singapore. when the gay community sents letters to counter homophobic articles, the letters don't get always published.

daniel palma tayona said...

my mother and i (more than 15 years ago)

ako: mamu, i have a special someone and he's guwapo.

mamu : oh?? (pregnant pause)

kaya rin ba niyang i-drawing ang kilay ko tulad mo?

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