Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Orlando fails to Bloom

Poor Orlando Bloom. In movie after movie since the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy, he's been consistently underwhelming.

Let's see: "Kingdom of Heaven?" Dreary. "Elizabethtown?" To quote the NYTimes' A.O. Scott: "Mr. Bloom distinguishes himself, in this performance as in most of his others, by his steadfast reluctance to explore his range as an actor." "Pirates of the Carribean?" Johnny Depp wipes the floor with him.

What's a fast-deflating dreamboat gotta do? Try the stage. Mr. Bloom just had his professional stage debut in the West End revival of David Storey’s play, "In Celebration." The reviews are mixed, but more like yawns than thumbs-ups.

BRAVO: "Bloom lends Steven [his character] exactly the right sense of haunted taciturnity and withdrawn moodiness." -- Michael Billington, The Guardian

COULDN'T CARE: "Orlando Bloom exhibits a faultless modesty. His character Steven, a discouraged teacher, stuttering novelist and father of four, is a silent, moody introvert. He says very little and rarely commands the stage." -- Michael Coveney,

"A brilliantined and moustached Orlando Bloom spends the entire evening looking pale and interesting. It’s not a challenging role but he remembers his lines and doesn’t bump into the furniture." -- Charles Spencer, The Daily Telegraph

BOO!: "Bloom's sexual charisma and androgynous prettiness before the camera vanishes clean away on the stage's more distant perspective. He stands around looking caddish in his pencil-thin moustache, blankly disengaged and forever bathed in boredom." -- Nicholas de Jongh, Evening Standard

Mr. Bloom should go back to being Legolas. He's more interesting as a blonde.


jayclops said...

His unsympathetic role and acting dampens the melodrama of Crowe's script and the mundane theme, unlike Maguire and Almost Famous, may energy. But always liked his selection of songs. Para ngang the film built on the essence of the soundtrack eh. Kaya siguro nag theatre na lang si Mr. Bloom, pero I'm sure he would have a hard time with his unexpressive face.

sarah said...

I'm surprised you didn't mention Troy.

I actually thought he was okay in Kingdom of Heaven and the Pirates movies. (Yes, Johnny Depp wipes the floor with him, but I don't think Bloom's acting is lousy or anything.) Just "okay", though. You're right that he's been unspectacular.

A stage play, huh? Seeing that stage acting is harder than film (in the context of it being done live), I'm not surprised that reviews are mostly negative.

I just feel sorry for him, really, that he's been stereotyped as Legolas.

Jigs said...

He was really terrible at Troy as Paris.He was really promising unfortunately, his looks got the best of everyone.

Jap said...

He's still in the market? I thought Ryan Gosling is the new 'it' boy =) I just love Ryan, can we talk about him instead? hehehehe

RentHead said...

oh yes, Jap! I lerrrv Ryan Gosling in Half Nelson! =)

Jap said...

renthead, I'm sure you lerrrv him being Half Naked as well =)

jayclops said...

Agree. Ryan is appearing in the adaptation of The Lovely Bones with Rachel Weisz. And THE Peter Jackson is directing it. Hmmmm.

gibbs cadiz said...

hi JAYCLOPS! unexpressive face? ka-ching! :)

hi SARAH! he's too bland and hammy for me, haha. but he was really pretty as legolas. :)

hello JIGS, looks can't get him far eh? there's still justice in the world. :)

hey RENTHEAD, yep, ryan gosling is the new edward norton! or something like that. :)

drei said...

i never really liked bloom. even in lotr, the parts i didn't like were the "legolas moments". ung mga slowmotion papogi moments. tsk tsk, just bad.

elizabethtown was bad? that's the only cameron crowe na di ko napanood, but he never disappointed me in the past.

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