Saturday, March 15, 2008

Hail, Janina!

In honor of the new Bb. Pilipinas Miss World and her "Melaniefic" Q&A moment, I'm reposting my own treasure trove of "beaucon" stories, some true, some fanciful.

Pramis, I really hope she wins in Kosovo--while speaking in Filipino. It's well past time for our language to be heard and interpreted (I volunteer!) on the international beauty pageant stage. That should cure Janina's mix-up of P's and F's. Plus, it should put her in better competition with all those Venezuelans, who always win, I suspect, because they sound cute chattering in Espanol.

World Feace, everyone!

Story #1. This happened in Albay.
Emcee: Contestant No. 7, here's your question: What is your favorite animal, and why?

Contestant: (Confident) My favorite animal is a bird, because it can fly, it symbolizes freedom!

(Audience claps wildly.)

Emcee: Good answer! So what is your favorite bird?

Contestant: My favorite bird is ah... eh... chicken.

Story #2. Somewhere in Laguna
Emcee: Here's your question. Titanic was called the ship of dreams. Why?

Contestant: (Thinks long and hard, crowd beginning to hoot). Ahh... Flis rifit.

Emcee: Your question is, Titanic was called the ship of dreams. Why?

Contestant: (Thinks long ang hard again, then...) That's true.

Story #3. Just heard this from a friend.
Emcee: What is your motto in life?

Contestant: My motto in life? Opportunity knocks but once and I thank you!

Story #4. A recent male beauty pageant in Intramuros
Emcee (Boy Abunda no less): Contestant so-and-so, eto ang tanong. Ano sa tingin mo ang natatanging kaugalian nating mga Pinoy na dapat nating pahalagahan at ipamana sa ating mga anak?

Contestant: Dapat ho tayo magtapon ng basura.

Story #5. Joke making the rounds
Emcee: What do you think is the biggest problem facing the youth today?

Contestant: Drugs.

(Audience cheers.)

Emcee. Well said! Why do you say drugs?

Contestant: Ang mahal kasi e!

Story #5. Not Q&A, but funny nonetheless.
This girl has joined and lost in so many beauty contests, and she's deeply frustrated. One Sunday it's her turn to do the reading at Mass. She begins:

A reading from the letter of Paul... (flings her arms up) TO HEBREW CITY!

6 comments:

palma tayona said...

these Q&A answers are gems. i kept on laughing until snot poured out my nose. i just have one tiny problem. i don't get the last one. (does that mean i should fall in line with the Q&A contestants? sigh...)

Anonymous said...

i heard this naman from one of the performers onstage at Club Mwah - s/he said s/he joined beauty contests in her/his youth. one time, s/he was asked: aside from your face, what is your problem?

rodyvera said...

this was forwarded to me-- i find it funnier-- kasi itong mga ito hindi ninenerbyos nung sinulat nila ang mga comments na ini. Ilan lang ba sa atin ang tuwid ang ingles pag ninenerbyos?:
.............eto ang malupit... mga comments ng mga nagmamagaling:



THE BLAME WILL GOES TO THE ORGANIZERS..SA SCREENING PA LANG DAPAT DI NA YUN NAKAPASOK..BKIT KC DI MGA ARTISTA INI ENCOURAGE NILA SUMALI? MGA MODEL? DAPAT KC KAHIT DI TAGA GMA PINASALI NILA. GANUN BA SILA MAG SCREENED? DIOS KO SA TAGAL KO NA NANOOD NG BEAUTY PAGEANT ITO NA ATA ANG PINAKA WORST AS IN ITO TALAGA..HIMALA NA LANG ANG PAG ASA NG MGA YUN! (will goes... mag-screened... pinaka worst...)

i dont think this is funny. guys let us not be so self-righteius. (okay... spell....)

ang galing ni janina i guest she deserve that (siguro si janina to....)

Poor Janina, the nation almost hates your triumphant. You don’t deserve the title. Sheila is correct you’re better to go back in elementary school for remedial class, surely you will learn and could able to speak English fluently and correctly. Please, don’t be arrogant next time if someone is asking you simply, by the time the host asked you, how do you feel tonight, you’re just only answering, “No, I’m not pressure” is that a correct answer. how dare you…. All i can say, you should learn more in English language, read English reading materials and practice your pronunciation. (sya ung english teacher ni janina.....)

i think she do not deserve to be bb.pilipinas world. even a grade one student know simple subject-verb agreement. plus, being a mass communication major, she must know the right pronounciation of words. she kept apologizing about her nervouseness.... (hehe... subject-verb agreement nga naman.... sorry.."nervouse" sya e...hehe)



Sana Si INDAY nalang sumali no? hehehe
mas magaling pa mag English sa kanila! wahehehe

gibbs cadiz said...

PALMA, haha, it's about the girl applying her beauty pageant spiel to a reading at Mass. :)

ANONYMOUS, that's not even original to them, i heard the joke many years ago in the library, malate. :)

RODY, haha, this is a riot! thanks for posting this here, i'll do a blog post on this for the benefit naman of my multiply readers. :)

R-yo said...

He he. Don't many of us watch beauty pageants for the sheer pleasure of hearing these "gems"? Ansaya nga naman. hehe

But I agree. It's about time our representatives speak in Filipino during the interview portion. Non-mastery of the English language has never been a barrier to winning world beauty titles. You're right, just ask those Venezuelans!

toteperez said...

gibbs, ini an malupit from a contestant sa SORECO II Beauty Pageant circa 80's

Host : There is a pending bill in the house of representatives proposing that the opening of classes be moved from june to september. as a student what is your opinion on this issue?

Contestant : I Think, uh, the prices of the bill will increase !

Host (to the rescue) : Let me explain it to you; a bill is a proposed law filed in congress, deliberated by the congress and senate. June is a rainy month, that makes it difficult for the students to attend school. Now, what do you think about this bill is it favorable to the students?

Contestant : I see. I guess, uh, the students will be late for classes, thank you po!

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