Thursday, July 16, 2009

Here's to the ladies who lunch, aren't they a gas.

Arts presscon, lunchtime. Two society dames seated in front of me at a round table, obviously bored, obviously trying to stay above it all. Small talk, BIG voices. The name TonyBoy is mentioned by the emcee.

SD1: Isn't TonyBoy the one with the actress as kabit?

SD2: Yah! She's a bundle.

SD1: Whyyyy? What do you mean?

SD2: Ay, there's a picture of her kissing another guy, and it's all over the cell phones!

SD1: Weeell, she's an actress, that's what they do!

SD2: Yah. Celebritees!

Dear Anonymous, before you throw a hissy fit again, know one thing: I don't seek them out, they find me--delicious overheard conversations, I mean. Or maybe I just have the nose, or ear, for them. Real-life dialogue--the unexpected kind, usually--is often funnier, more telling than constructed ones, and damn if all I can do in its presence is laugh the laughter of the clueless. What am I a writer for, anyway, if not to find the quirky and satirize the absurd?

Anyway, the same conversation, this time followed by my thought balloons.

SD1: Isn't TonyBoy the one with the actress as kabit?

[Hellur, her name's Gretchen! As if you didn't know, ganown? As if you're different from the rest of us and you don't read Ricky Lo or Yes! Magazine?]

SD2: Yah! She's a bundle.

[Naaks, a bundle talaga ha.]

SD1: Whyyyy? What do you mean?

[Ashushu, isa pa 'tong kunwari walang kamuwang-muwang.]

SD2: Ay, there's a picture of her kissing another guy, and it's all over the cell phones!

[Mwahaha, hoy, that's so last year pa ha! Or two years ago pa ata. Oops, ba't mo alam yan, aver? Aminin!]

SD1: Weeell, she's an actress, that's what they do!

[Judgmental!?]

SD2: Yah. Celebritees!

[Yah, and society women are so gracious and refined they don't make tsismis, no never not at all, this is merely passing the time, look at the two of you with your prim pearls and pious Bobby Novenario blouses you're not the type to talk trash or be blunt, que horror y barbaridad to think otherwise 'no?]

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

This one is a keeper for next years "Fragments" at the Virgin Labfest, Gibbs!

Marbee said...

I can imagine you saying your comments out loud teh! And re: ze `actress`- Indeed, `if it`s from Seiko, it must be good! =)

Anonimus said...

I hope I'm not the Anonymous who threw a hissy fit over game boys. LOL. I'm pointing my finger at that Anonymous who said we shouldn't listen in on other people's chit-chat.

Because eavesdropping on other people's conversations is my single biggest reward for taking public transportation, and also the reason why I blog.

And SDs are the richest source of material ever. That's why Oro, Plata, Mata is my favorite Pinoy of all time.

There. I'm done washing my hands.

Anonymous said...

Huli din pala sa balita ang mga ladies who lunch.

Abaniko said...

At di raw kilala talaga si Tonyboy ha? "Isn't he the one...?"

Hey Gibbs, nag-comment din si Anonymous sa blog ko. Pero positive naman ang sinabi nya about my post.

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