Monday, August 31, 2009

Femme too fatale in Dulaang UP’s Lulu

Philippine Daily Inquirer, 8.31.2009

Despite the ample flesh displayed, this play sang the body electric off-key


AT VARIOUS TIMES THROUGH Frank Wedekind’s “Lulu,” which Dulaang UP recently staged for three weeks at Wilfrido Ma. Guerrero Theater in UP Diliman, the central character was described as an “angel,” a “miracle” (“isa[ng] himala sa maalikabok na lansangan,” in Joel Saracho’s Filipino translation), a being of “pure passion.”

“Lulu” is a merging of two plays featuring the same character, the titles of which are telling. “Earth Spirit” came out in 1895, followed by “Pandora’s Box” in 1904, the latter inexorably tying the Lulu character with the archetypal woman in Greek mythology.

If all that isn’t persuasive enough, there is Wedekind himself, unambiguous about the nature of his most famous creation: “Lulu is not a real character, but the personification of primitive sexuality who inspires evil unaware.”

The “Lulu” plays, with their fervid glorification of a woman’s sexual rapaciousness and the devastation it wreaks on the world around her, has served as an Ur-text in the evolution of the iconic femme fatale in popular culture—from Marlene Dietrich’s Lola-Lola in “The Blue Angel” to Barbara Stanwyck’s Phyllis Dietrichson in “Double Indemnity” (notice the hommage in names?), from Hitchcock’s gallery of deadly blondes to the Botticelli-tressed Glenn Close as the terrifying Alex Forrest in “Fatal Attraction.”

Louise Brooks as the quintessential Lulu in G.W. Pabst's 1929 silent film of “Pandora's Box”

They all owe a debt to “Lulu,” more specifically to her now-celebrated cinematic embodiment, the Lulu of American actress Louise Brooks in German director G.W. Pabst’s landmark 1929 silent film of “Pandora’s Box.”

Yet to play Lulu as the familiar femme fatale—the way director Dexter Santos’ Dulaang UP production did—is to fall into a trap. The text itself, along with Wedekind’s helpful description, is clear: Lulu is a preternatural creature, above and beyond the merely human—an “earth spirit” who treads the earth but is not of it.

Her “positioning [is] outside of morality, and the issues of guilt and innocence,” said film scholar Mary Ann Doane (in the Criterion Collection DVD release of the film). The destruction she brings isn’t intentional or willful, because, as a “pure presence, a pure image,” she is “a character for whom the past has no weight... a creature of the instant—of instantaneity and spontaneity, ontology rather than psychology.”

In other words, a femme unaware she is fatale.

Iconoclastic
That distinction is crucial. Wedekind, in describing Lulu as “inspir[ing] evil unaware,” designed her to be the apotheosis of erotic representation, but unlike the men and women who would lose their wits over her, her sexual voraciousness isn’t the function of her loins, but the primal expression of her sense of freedom.

While seemingly unmoored from motivational underpinnings, Lulu’s anarchic, iconoclastic nature did have a purpose: It was the shattering blast of modernity Wedekind had lobbed at fin-de-siècle Germany, with its smothering rubric of social, economic and psychosexual conventions—the real aim of his subversive dramaturgy.

Pabst reportedly auditioned numerous women, including Dietrich, before settling on Brooks for his Lulu. The smoldering Dietrich (25 at that time to Brooks’ 21) was rejected because, as Pabst explained, her overripe sexuality, her all-too-seductive look threatened to turn “Pandora’s Box” into a “burlesque.”

The gaze of “pure presence,” more “ontology than psychology”

Pabst wanted an actress who combined allure and innocence, sensuality and grace. When he found Brooks, he photographed her exactly as Wedekind had conjured Lulu: an ethereal presence, seemingly separate from the common humanity around her, her stunning face—that otherworldly gaze—and lithe figure always more luminous, the light more alive in her presence.

In the face of such vital incandescence, it was easy to believe why men both high and low—and one well-born woman, Countess Geschwitz— would throw themselves at her feet even if it led to ruin and death.

“Why, you avenging angel!,” the hapless Dr. Schön tells Lulu at one point.

Problematic
Was it too hard for Dulaang UP’s “Lulu” to find an actor of both striking radiance and feather-light charm? It would seem so. Che Ramos, the Lulu of the English version, was a virtual Amazon, hard and cold and cutting, her deep voice and uninflected delivery dragging her character to depths of willfulness and world-weariness it needn’t have plumbed.

Che Ramos as Lulu and Gabs Santos as Alwa in the English version of Dulaang UP's “Lulu,” directed by Dexter Santos

The Lulu of the Filipino version is even more problematic. Tuxqs Rutaquio played her as a transvestite—as did Andoy Ranay the role of Countess Geschwitz.

Santos might have been aiming for a layered, more topical reading of “Lulu” in this reworked version. But Wedekind’s material, one of the most indestructibly Expressionist texts in drama with its engorged dialogue and baroque characterization, defies any search for subtext.

Tuxqs Rutaquio plays Lulu as a transvestite in the Filipino version (translation by Joel Saracho), with Alex Cortez as Schigolch

So when someone compliments Dr. Schön—a pillar of society who has taken for a bride a man in drag—thus, “Kinaiinggitan ka ng marami dahil sa ’yong asawa!,” the line had to be taken for what it was—not as a winking, sardonic quip, but as a statement of fact. The Filipino play’s severe, somber tone, in any case, indicated it wasn’t playing its ludicrous premise for farcical effect.

The question then: What kind of bourgeois, broken society was this that still required Lulu’s destructive presence, if it had by now attained a level of carnal emancipation that should render the unfettered sexual id Lulu represented all but superfluous?

Poor understanding
On a more basic level, both versions of “Lulu” suffered from the facile decision to play her as a blunt, consciously spiteful figure—a femme fatale no different from the grubby, greedy horde around her.

But even femme fatales have irreducible traits: On top of being enticing, they have to be canny, calculating, mysterious, intelligent, resourceful. What they cannot be is unlikable, or, at the very least, boring. Danger, fascination, desire—these are at the heart of a femme fatale’s hold over her men and her audience.

Ramos' Lulu with Paolo O'Hara as Dr. Schön

While Ramos’ all-steel performance vitiated any strain of genuine magnetism, there remained a smidgen of plausibility in seeing her female wiles attract all that mayhem.

The Filipino version, alas, not only pounded plausibility to dust with baffling flourishes, like Ranay’s cross-dressing aristocrat Geschwitz coming out at one point in a pink tutu. It also had Rutaquio’s florid attack—in one scene, he fired a gun then blew the smoke from the barrel, a gesture straight out of B noir or a Tarantino flick—pushing the material headlong into classic Joey Gosiengfiao territory: camp with a straight face. Burlesque, in short.

Andoy Ranay's feather-bedecked Countess Geschwitz in the Filipino version

To this morass, the rest of the cast responded with their own state of disorder: Paolo O’Hara offered a laboriously played Dr. Schön in the English play, a part that thoroughly flew over the head of Ian Lomongo in Filipino. Missy Maramara’s Ring Master garbled her lines, while Jojit Lorenzo’s aced his in the vernacular.

JC Santos was an attractive Alwa, Dr. Schön’s equally besotted son, but he barely connected with his character’s Oedipal core. His English-language counterpart, Gabs Santos (no relation), emoted shallowly but, along with Meynard Peñalosa’s Schigolch, had the clearest diction—small mercy in a play otherwise lost in verbal and dramatic incoherence.

Riveting
Only one actor seemed to find the intuitive truth in her character: Angeli Bayani as the English-version Geschwitz. With riveting stillness, she managed to convey the sense of Sapphic estrangement, the exotic dislocation her character shared with the other, bigger rara avis in the room, Lulu.

Santos did get the externals right. His physical staging was spare yet expansive, getting much of the Expressionistic touchstones right: the raked stage, the massive angled beams, the smoky trapdoors, the shadowy lighting; the jangling, mashed-up guitar-and-violin soundtrack that sounded like a demented cousin to Anton Karas’ zither-playing in Carol Reed’s “The Third Man.”

The one light he needed to get right, though, was the cosmic force that was Lulu. True to their darker tint, Santos’ two Lulus were often smudged in shadow, more grim than beguiling, more earth than spirit.

Despite the ample flesh displayed, this play sang the body electric off-key, neither pulsing with lust nor trilling with passion—a parched, frigid “Lulu.”

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

My current state

“Paper! Miles and miles and miles of paper! Sheaves and reams and passels and stacks! Is this what I went to college for? Is this why I learned sonnet form (Shakespearean AND Petrarchan thank you very much), and became proficient and gifted and wise beyond my years, and studied Latin AND glanced at Greek, and memorized the lymphatic system and kingdom-phylum-class-order-family-genus-species... and honed my wit and read Edmund Burke and translated sententiae from Catullus AND studied Titian and Caravaggio and da Vinci AND took a lesson in flute or flaut AND abided by Mens Sana Corpore Sano even when it would have been just as nice NOT to wash or to entertain an impure thought so I could be inundated AND embargoed and generally assaulted by paper paper, pillars and columns and towers of PAPER?”

-- Richard Greenberg, from his play The Violet Hour

What St. Peter did to that crowing cock


Sign I saw along E.Rodriguez Avenue near St. Luke's, on my way to PETA. Sige nga, how can you not love 'Pinas?

Feast of performances at CCP this September


September, the Cultural Center of the Philippines’ founding month, ends the nine-month long 40th anniversary celebration of the institution, centered on the theme of remembrance (of the past 40 years), celebration and eager anticipation of the future.

The Philippine Philharmonic Orchestra's 27th concert season 2009-2010 opens with renowned American conductor Anthony Quartuccio featuring works by traditional classical masters--Dvorak, Galindo, Debussy, Tchaikovsky and Antonino Buenaventura.

The CCP resident companies, together with a stellar billing of performing arts talents will present a dazzling musical extravaganza at the CCP 40th Anniversary Gala event on September 8. Taking the lead on this occasion will be Conductor Laureate Oscar Yatco and Maestro Ryan Cayabyab.

On September 11, a special production dubbed as "Seven Arts, One Imelda" pays tribute to former First Lady Imelda Marcos, founding chair of the CCP. The gala, which will highlight the virtuosity of Filipino artists, will be directed by Alex Cortez,with concept/script by Floy Quintos and music direction by Josefino Chino Toledo and Ryan Cayabyab.

Two internationally acclaimed artists, Filipina pianist Cecile Licad and German cellist Alban Gerhardt, will perform in two special concerts: a duo performance slated on September 15, and with the Philippine Philharmonic Orchestra under the baton of Oscar Yatco on September 16, 2009. Both concerts will be held at the CCP’s Tanghalang Nicanor Abelardo (Main Theater) at 8 p.m.


On September 18, all CCP incumbent and former officers and employees will gather in a night of "Tipanan at Gabi ng Parangal ng CCP Gawad SINAG" at the CCP Main Theater. The event is a thank you-cum-recognition party ("Pasasalamat, Pagkilala, Pag-alala at Pagsasaya") for CCP employees who have been or still are part of the Center for the past 40 years.

The CCP Gawad SINAG (or "Saludo sa Isang Natatanging Ambag o Gawa") also bestows due recognition to CCP employees who have made significant contributions to the development of CCP as a national arts institution and in the implementation of its thrusts and mandate in culture and arts work.

Likewise, a multi-media and multi-sensory exhibit entitled "Daloy: 40 Years", which chronicles the development of the CCP as a cultural institution, opens at the CCP Bulwagang Juan Luna (Main Gallery) on September 18, and will be on view up to November 8. The exhibit will be curated by CCP Thirteen Artists Awardees Don M. Salubayba and Claro Ramirez, Jr.

On September 24, a commemorative magazine entitled Genesis will be launched at the CCP Main Theater Lobby. Named after H.R. Ocampo’s fiery mural and penned by some of the country’s distinguished writers, the magazine provides readers with information on the CCP’s past and present programs and directions, honors significant personalities who have contributed to the achievements of CCP, and details other activities marking the CCP’s 40th anniversary. Photos are provided by the Camera Club of the Philippines and the Nayon Photographers Club.

Finally, the CCP Outreach and Exchange Division celebrates its 30th anniversary with a commemorative CD entitled Lakbay Himig, a compilation of the best musical creations and performances by 30 of the country’s most prominent musical artists, to be launched on September 30 at the CCP Main Theater Lobby.

For more information, call the CCP Marketing Department 8321125 loc. 1800-1808; CCP Box Office 8323704, 8321125 loc. 1409; or Ticketworld 8919999. Visit www.culturalcenter.gov.ph


PLUS: From Rubies: Gems in Philippine Performing Arts, the opening salvo of CCP's 40th anniversary celebration held last February--Jed Madela and Bo Cerrudo singing Kay Ganda ng Ating Musika (with the Madz?--I'm not sure. Help.) Call me a fuddy-duddy, but I'll add: Kay ganda ng ating musika--lalo na noon.



Monday, August 24, 2009

Since it's cool to sing them again...



Ah, those messed-up notes [at 7:08]. Good thing the others could rebound pretty fast. There were three songs, actually, but my Flip's battery ran out just as the Ryan Cayabyab Singers had begun crooning Tie a Yellow Ribbon, a capella--lovely arrangement by Mr. C, if quite unrehearsed to my ears (a cellphone grab here). Better savor them now before the feeling passes, yellow becomes just another color and the songs are mothballed once again. Naku, do bet on it. Unless Noynoy runs. Mar, be a peach. Do a Doy Laurel, will you?

UPLB arts troupe to stage Synge's Riders to the Sea/Sa Sinapupunan ng Laot

The UPLB Samahan sa Sining (SAMASINING), the laboratory arm of the Department of Humanities, is staging John Millington Synge’s “Riders to the Sea/Sa Sinapupunan ng Laot,” a two-part adaptation by Prof. Emmanuel V. Dumlao, under the direction of Prof. Dennis D. Gupa.

The show runs September 16 and 17 (7 p.m.), September 18 (3 p.m. and 7 p.m.) and September 19 and 20 (10 a.m. and 3 p.m.)

This production showcases a presentation of two different cultures--Irish and Filipino, back to back in one show. “Riders to the Sea” is a period play set in an isolated island in Ireland. Meanwhile, the Filipino translation called “Sa Sinapupunan ng Laot” is set in Alabat, Quezon. The play revolves around a living mystery, a family’s tragedy and the faith and strength of a mother despite her desolate situation.

Through the years, SAMASINING, along with the department's Theater Communication classes, has taken the lead in producing plays of high quality that enhance the students’ study of and appreciation for literature, the humanities, the social sciences, and other courses at the secondary and collegiate levels.

Tickets are at P200 each. For ticket reservations, call Camille Custodio 0917-9789018.


Jack and the Beanstalk from Rep Children's Theater

Repertory Philippines brings "Jack and the Beanstalk" to the Onstage Theatre, 2nd level, Greenbelt 1, Paseo de Roxas, Makati City, from August 8 to December 10, 2009.

The characters you remember will all be there--the Golden Goose, the Singing Harp, Jack’s mother. But the biggest, most delightful surprise will be unwrapped when you actually watch the show. This version is sure to bring the oldies and the kiddies together in one big celebration of fun and laughter.

Rep’s well-known players--among them Juno Henares, Liesl Batucan, Rem Zamora and Joel Trinidad--are part of the large cast. Terri Aldeguer (with Deana Aquino) choreographs, under Joy Virata and Baby Barredo's joint direction. "Jack and the Beanstalk" has music by Jim Eiler and Jeanne Bargy, adapted for the stage and with lyrics by Jim Eiler.

Call 8870710 for ticket inquiries or visit www.repertory.ph.


Saturday, August 22, 2009

PETA's official statement on the National Artist Awards controversy

One should have been far too many, yet President Arroyo has abused her power--again. This time it threatens to divide the artist community.

* * *

We join our fellow artists in the condemnation of President Arroyo’s abuse of her so-called prerogatives and her utter disrespect for a selection process that has served the awards program well. During the term of President Aquino, that prerogative was already in place, but in contrast to President Arroyo, Cory had the grace and wisdom to entrust the selection to the legally appointed bodies. President Arroyo’s elimination of one legitimate nominee, and her insertion of four persons without the benefit of the rigor of standards, and scrutiny that the awards deserve have debased the National Artists Award.

We question the prudence of those who nominated Cecile Guidote-Alvarez to President Arroyo, those who decided to bypass the rules of the selection process. They knew full-well that any member of the two selection bodies, NCCA and CCP, cannot be nominated for this honor. Cecile Guidote-Alvarez is the Executive Director of the NCCA and yet they still pushed for her inclusion in the roster. Finally, President Arroyo, sanctioned this violation when she offered to elevate Cecile Guidote-Alvarez to the status of National Artist.

We have the highest respect for Cecile Guidote-Alvarez, and even to this very day, decades after she has left PETA, we still owe her a tremendous debt of gratitude as our founder and original guiding spirit.

It is precisely because of our respect, admiration and affection for her that we request her to decline the award at this time as it is sadly tainted. We believe that the award will be much more meaningful for her if it is granted the benefit of the rigorous scrutiny, and endorsement of her peers.

Her vision and blueprint for a national theater was a masterplan which helped change the direction of Philippine theater in the 60’s. Her work, especially in the first five years with PETA, created a spirit that until now animates parallel cultural movements and initiatives. Her legacy has been greatly expanded and enriched by wave after wave of PETA members but her original vision and mission remain: theater can be a force to educate, to mirror and forge our cultural identity, and to break the culture of silence. It is in the same spirit that we have chosen to speak now and in this manner. This is especially important at a time when the nation is suffering from so much loss of public trust, in government, and in ourselves as a people.

As PETA members, we are encouraged to express our opinions as individuals. On this issue however, we have deliberated as a body to formulate this statement. The issue of the National Artists Award is a national issue. It affects us as individual artists because the award symbolizes the best in us. It affects the whole country because these artists, once given this honor are transformed into examples, beacons, and icons for our country. It defines all Filipino artists and all Filipinos. To surrender the power to one person to declare--who among us should be considered exemplary is not acceptable. That is not the President’s prerogative!

The culture of insensitivity and disrespect for due process, spawned by eight years of absence of transparency and accountability of the Arroyo administration has finally reached our gates. Art is the last of the few independent refuges of freedom, and when this refuge is breached, all freedom is utterly lost.

We join the arts and culture community in condemning this administration's abuse of power that threatens the freedom of the arts. We artists, performing the sacred role of committed citizens, will be standing as one to defend this refuge--vigilant and courageous in the pursuit of genuine democracy.


BRAVO. It's been worth the wait.

Awake and sing!


Sea (okay, more like a small lake) of yellow at the corner of Ayala Avenue and Paseo de Roxas in Makati City yesterday afternoon, 3-6 p.m. Those long-forgotten shivers up and down one's spine are back whenever that inevitable song--and those defiant hands--reclaim the horizon.



[Click on photos to enlarge.]

He's baaack. Butz Aquino handing out yellow ribbons to the crowd

Mae Paner aka Juana Change, cute avenging angel

Mikee Cojuangco, inconspicuous as ever, with dad Peping at the base of the Ninoy Aquino monument

Former senator and vice president Teofisto Guingona with Makati mayor Jojo Binay (haay) and National Artist for Literature Bienvenido Lumbera (in beret)

Ahem, who's the cute guy beside Dinky Soliman?

The good reverend takes his own images of history unfolding.

Noynoy Aquino firing up the crowd merely by showing up. Simple speech, nothing lofty, but the frenzy he generates nowadays must be making the declared presidentiables sleepless. Serves them right. [Video of his remarks to follow. How lucky was I to be right by the spot where he'd squeeze through on his way to the stage?]

Noel Cabangon serving up his brand of lilting yet outspoken Pinoy music


Thank you, and well done. We will never forget.


PLUS: In the NYTimes, “Filipinos Lament How Far They Haven’t Come”

[All photos taken with the new Samsung ST550]

Pay what you can at Aug. 30 PETA show

For the opening of its flagship project on Children's Rights, PETA is opening a PAY-WHAT-YOU CAN offer for the first 100 reservations for both the 10 a.m. and 3 p.m. shows on August 30 of "Ismail at Isabel".

"Ismail at Isabel" is a lyrical and melodic story that will forever change our view of the children of the streets. The narrative focuses on two children, Ismail at Isabel, a Christian and a Muslim who once lived in a village where Muslims and Christians lived harmoniously. Eventually shattered by war and violence, they become refugees and get separated in the bustling city. Their only hope is to tell and re-tell stories and folktales that their parents once told them, and to find a place where peace reigns over people’s differences.


"Ismail at Isabel" is written by Rody Vera and directed by Maribel Legarda. Performances are slated for August 28 to October 4, 2009 at the PETA Theater Center.

To avail of the promo, simply send PRTA your name, contact number, and your pledge/donation on or before August 29, 2009 through this email address: petampro@yahoo.com. (Note: Maximum of 5 tickets per reservation.)

For more information, contact PETA Marketing at 4100821 or 7256244 or 0917-8044428.


Friday, August 21, 2009

Fight.



“It takes little effort to stop a tyrant. I have no doubt in the ultimate victory of right over wrong, of good over evil, in the awakening of the Filipino... There is no greater land on earth than our Motherland. No greater people than our own. Serve them with all your heart, with all your might and with all your strength.”

-- Benigno Ninoy Aquino Jr., in his letter to his only son Noynoy, August 25, 1975

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Courage has no gender

“[D]iretsuhin na natin, paano tayo naduwag?

“Gusto ko sanang sabihing nabakla na siguro tayo, pero di lang sa magagalit sa akin ang mga kaibigan kong bakla kundi marami akong kilalang bakla na matapang. Nangunguna na d’yan si Lino Brocka na sa tindi ng galit sa mga kahibangan noon ni Manoling Morato ay sinigawan ng 'Bakla!' Iilan lang ang kakilala kong makakatapat kay Brocka sa katapangan.

“Ang nakikita na lang nating katapangan ngayon, at talaga namang laganap na, ay katapangan ng apog. Ang katapangangang yon ay wala ring pinipiling kampon, babae, lalaki o bakla. Equal opportunity, ika nga. Tapang ng apog ang kumikitil sa bayan, tapang ng apog ang pumapatay sa bayan. Tingnan mo ang mga nasa poder ngayon at tanong mo sa sarili kung may makikita ka ring katapat nila sa ganyang katapangan.

“Pero yo’ng totoong katapangan, nasaan na?”

-- Conrado De Quiros, “‘Teyktu’”


PLUS: Prayer rally tomorrow, Friday, August 21, 2009, 3-6 p.m. at the Ninoy Aquino Monument, Ayala Avenue, Makati City. Wear something yellow. In the evening, “if you're on the road, switch on your hazard lights and spread the country’s Yellow Spark far and wide.”

[Graphic: Lynski]


Monday, August 17, 2009

Spot your favorite concerned artist

Travelling--kaya madaming new entries (below). Be back soon. In the meantime:



That's Renato Lucas, the country's premiere cellist, providing the mournful soundtrack, by the way. Juana Change's blistering number is here.

PLUS: Another video, a much better one, by musical whiz Von De Guzman. His “take on the National Artist Awards rumpus,” as he calls it. Stirring tribute.



Check your delicadeza quotient

... by taking this nifty, illuminating quiz devised by ace playwright Nicolas Pichay.

The concept of delicadeza presupposes that a society is guided by a generally accepted moral compass that points to acceptable and unacceptable behavior. The sense of delicadeza requires us to play fair and be honest in our dealings with others specially in matters or circumstances not strictly covered by law or formal rules.

The practice of delicadeza is admired since it is a voluntary and conscience-driven act that moves a person to act correctly or appropriately even if it is contrary to one’s personal interest. It is, most of all, an act of spiritual honesty.

Test your delicadeza quotient with the following hypothetical circumstances:

1. In a democratic framework that strongly encourages accountability by way of checks and balances, should one practice delicadeza when one is in a position to gain advantage over others by abusing and misusing power and authority?

__Agree __No Way

2. Are we enjoined by delicadeza not to rig the results of any game with rules, whether it is a sports contest, a competition for an award or an election (specially when we are in a position to do so)?

__Agree __No Way

3. Should your sense of delicadeza prevent you from employing lies and manufacturing diversionary tactics to befuddle the issue, even as one’s hands have been caught in the proverbial cookie jar?

__Agree __No Way

4. Will you practice delicadeza by declining a position or returning an award which your recognized peers think you do not deserve?

__Agree __No Way

What your test scores say:
1. If you answered No Way in at least one of the questions, please check the mirror. We have our moments of weakness. There may still be time to prevent an outbreak.

2. If you answered No way in more than one but less than three of the questions, its time to check if you still have real friends.

3. If you answered No Way in all of the 4 questions, we know who you are. Just in case you haven’t noticed: Ang kakapal ng mga mukha niyo. May I suggest you get a dermabrating foot spa on your calloused faces.

A Judd Apatow script--if Judd Apatow were, uhm, one of us

Chatter you won't hear in polite company--but we were having fun, so sue us. Sorry to ruin your breakfast, though.

[Cribbed from Mcvie, the “I” in the story]

Because Joaqui Miguel wanted to cement his status as an “extra virgin” (a title no one believes anyway), he asked us what crabs were.

Gibbs said, “Crabs is basically pubic lice.”

I chimed in, “They make you itch down there. Very itchy.”

Gibbs added, “If you wear white underwear and you see those little spots, that’s a sign that you have crabs. But they’re easy to get rid of, just use Qwell. It’s an anti-lice shampoo.”

“Well you can shave,” I said. “But that doesn’t guarantee you’ll get rid of them all. You can try using tweezers and get them one by one, hahaha! I mean, they’re small but you can still see them.”

JohnStan, who also claims to be a virgin sans the “extra” label, and who was quiet the whole time (in a bid for consistency of behavior that sadly did not convince any of us at all), asked, “So if you’re not wearing white underwear, you won’t see the spots?”

“Well, just wear white underwear to spot them!” Gibbs replied.

“Are crabs considered STD?” Joaqui asked.

Gibbs paused. “Well, they’re not a disease per se,” he answered. “But they are passed on during sex.”

“The lice can just jump from pubic hair to pubic hair,” I explained.

“But they’re not a disease,” Gibbs reiterated. “So I guess they’re sexually transmitted, uhm, insects?”

“Aaay, STI?! Hahahaha!”

“Sexually transmitted organisms?” Gibbs said with a smile.

I took a crack as it. “How about sexually transmitted creatures?”

Gibbs: “Sexually transmitted beasts?” Then a silly idea dawned on him. “What if they’re actual crabs, noh? As in the crustacean ones?”

“Hahaha!” JohnStan burst out laughing. “They’d be painful not itchy.”

“What if they’re actually elephants?” I wondered out loud. “Sexually transmitted elephants! They’ll be so big, you can’t miss ‘em.”

“Hahaha! How about sexually transmitted emus?”

“Hahaha! How about sexually transmitted walrus?”

“Hahaha! How about sexually transmitted platypus?”

“Hahaha! How about sexually transmitted pandaca pygmaea?”

“Hahaha! How about sexually transmitted tarsiers?”

“Ahahaha! They’ll be hanging on to your pubic hair like this.” And Gibbs pretended he was the world’s smallest marsupial clinging onto a branch.

Thank god we’re not Gods during creation, thinking of ways to make Man’s stay on earth a little more inconvenient.

Chari, Joaqui, Kelli: It's Spring Awakening in Manila

Atlantis Productions is staging the Tony-winning musical by Duncan Sheik and Steven Sater, “Spring Awakening”, at the Carlos P. Romulo Auditorium, RCBC Plaza, Makati City, from September 25-October 18, 2009. Joaquin Valdes and Kelly Frances Lati lead a cast of young musical-theater actors, under Chari Arespacochaga's direction.


Arespacochaga, an actress, choreographer and educator, is intimately familiar with “Spring Awakening”. As a participant in the MTI Workshops for Teachers of Drama in New York one summer, she passed by at the then off-Broadway production of the show. By chance, an usher had not shown up for work. Arespacochaga was offered a deal---rip tickets at the entrance and get to watch the production for free. It was an offer she could not refuse.

Her reward was to have the choicest seats in the house, right on stage and close to the action. It was there that she marveled at the soon-to-be Tony Award-winning material. “I left the theater in a daze,” she says. “And I knew I wanted to do 'Spring' right after!”

Atlantis’ creative head Bobby Garcia, who spearheaded acquiring the rights to stage “Spring Awakening” directly from its New York producers, says, “I am thrilled Chari is directing “Spring Awakening”. This show is so close to her heart and with her background working with many young performers, I think she will create an exciting and dynamic musical.”

From the start, Arespacochaga has been involved in every step of the production process, heading auditions, consulting with the New York production office for casting, readings and workshops in order to get her cast and crew more than ready for opening night. Her artistic team now includes Tuxqs Rutaquio (set design), Dexter Santos (choreography), Rajo Laurel (costume design), Voltaire de Jesus (lights design) and Jojo Malferari (musical direction).


Portraying the parts of the star-crossed young lovers Melchior Gabor and Wendla Bergman are Joaquin Valdes and Kelly Frances Lati. Valdes is a familiar face on the Philippine stage; he has been performing since 11 years old. The auditions, according to him, were “nerve-wracking. You have to remember everyone wanted to be in the show. Everyone. Not just theater people.” Arespacochaga had to tell him to “to stop, breathe and sing again without the nerves.” He did, and he got the part.

Meanwhile, this will be Lati's professional Philippine theater debut. A former New York resident and now a student at the University of the Asia and the Pacific, she was encouraged by voice mentor Robert Sena to audition for the part. After several callbacks, she bagged the role that Lea Michele originated on Broadway.

Spring Awakening runs September 25–October 18, 2009 at the Carlos P. Romulo Auditorium, RCBC Plaza, Makati. For tickets, call 8927078 or 8401187. Due to explicit content and some nudity, parental discretion is strongly advised.


Sunday, August 16, 2009

Proof that wealth has no relation to good taste

Manoling Morato: “Carlo [Caparas] is a damn good painter and artist. I have quite a few of his works. His is an inborn talent, unlike [Cesar Legaspi] who studied it all... I don’t even have any of Legaspi’s works in my collection. I got rid of them. Same with the works of Bencab and Arturo Luz. I won’t hang their works in my collection and desecrate the works of Goya, Van Gogh, Toulouse Lautrec, Picasso and other old masters that I own.”

PLUS: Patricia Evangelista comes out swinging--

[T]he award is not the white tower that Caparas styles himself as the challenger. The works of Nick Joaquin, Lino Brocka and many others have proved themselves both nationally significant and nationally recognized during their time. And yet to use the standards of Caparas is to protest that Willie Revillame and the Viva Hot Babes have not yet been considered National Artists...

[Cecile Guidote] Alvarez laments the tempest her award has created. “It is unfortunate that our country is divided by politics. It is through arts that our people can be united. I pray that culture as the nourishing womb will eventually bond together our nation toward the betterment of our citizens.”

Beautiful words from one of the guardians of the country’s culture, ironic in the face of the events establishing just how little Ms Alvarez cares about the state of the arts--certainly not enough to put the reputation of the institution over her personal ambition.
[boldface mine]. It is an attitude very much like that of the President she serves. And Caparas--the directorial hand behind such classics as “The Myrna Diones Story (Lord, Have Mercy!),” “Humanda Ka Mayor! (Bahala na ang Diyos),” “The Cecilia Masagca Story: Antipolo Massacre (Jesus Save Us!),” “The Vizconde Massacre Story (God Help Us!),” “The Untold Story: Vizconde Massacre 2 (God Have Mercy on Us!),” “Lipa Arandia Massacre (Lord Deliver Us from Evil/God Save the Babies!),” “The Maggie dela Riva Story (God ... Why Me?),” “Victim No. 1: Delia Maga (Jesus, Pray for Us!)” and “The Marita Gonzaga Rape-Slay (In God We Trust!)”--may have discovered that to have President Arroyo in your corner ensures an ending far happier than having the ear of God. The Carlo J. Caparas story, if it ever gets produced, may very well have a different deity for its subheading.

Wedding bells and honeymoon sunsets--in Kota Kinabalu

Philippine Daily Inquirer, 8.16.2009

‘Why not pay as if you’re traveling domestic--but you’re actually going overseas?’


LIKE MANY AN ANCIENT PLACE, the origins of Kota Kinabalu’s name are tucked away in legend. A Chinese woman, it is said, pined for her husband’s return for years and years after the man went back to, and eventually died in, mainland China. In her honor, the towering mountain that dominates the Sabah skies--and the rest of Southeast Asia--was named Kinabalu (“Chinese widow”). And the city that now serves as the capital of the Malaysian state of Sabah was christened Kota Kinabalu (“City of Chinese widows”).

Despite the sad tenor of that beloved myth, a pleasant reversal of sorts has happened to Kota Kinabalu. The city, according to two top hotels in the area, has increasingly become a preferred destination in Southeast Asia for weddings and honeymoons because of its scenic, unspoiled surroundings and first-rate amenities for travelers.

“Many visitors who come here to wed or to spend their honeymoon are from Japan, Korea, the UK, Australia and Europe,” says Jun Cordova, sales director of Tanjung Aru Resort & Spa (tel. 6088-327888, tah@shangri-la.com, www.shangri-la.com/tanjungaru), one of two sprawling Shangri-La hotels in Kota Kinabalu.


Most of these weddings happen in the balmy month of January. The resort has a full-time wedding planner and an array of customizable wedding packages and venues (up to 1,000 guests in the largest ballroom) to cater to all manner of bridal events.

Christian populace
Unlike the rest of Malaysia, Sabah, a state of 3.3 million people, has a large Christian population--about 40 percent, mostly Catholic. Only 15-17 percent are Muslim. Christian wedding rites are thus easy to arrange in Kota Kinabalu, with a residency requirement of only seven working days for a couple to be wed. The Catholic parish covering the Tanjung Aru resort dispenses permission and services for weddings held in the hotel (in the case of foreigners, often outdoors—by the beach, in the gardens or even at the hotel rooftop).

Between Tanjung Aru (492 rooms), right smack in the city proper, and another Shangri-La hotel about 45 minutes from downtown, the Rasa Ria Resort (420 rooms), nearly 70 percent of the city’s wedding business is already covered, claims Cordova, a Cebuano who had worked at Shangri-La Mactan for six years and Traders Hotel Singapore for eight years before his Tanjung Aru posting.


“Kota Kinabalu is actually a hidden destination,” he says. “Oftentimes, it’s Bali and Phuket that first come to mind as romantic getaways, but they’re now so commercialized. KK offers value-for-money distinction because costs are lower here, since you spend in Malaysian ringgit. The UK pound, for instance, goes a long way here.”

“KK has also much more to offer compared to Penang, Kuala Lumpur or Genting in West Malaysia, which are beautiful but are now very tourist-y areas,” he adds. “What we have here are excellent dive spots like Sipadan, jungle adventures--more outdoorsy enjoyments.”

Tanjung Aru, located 10 minutes away from the airport, attracts highly mobile travelers for its easy combination of sea and city life. Rasa Ria (tel. 6088-792888, rrr@shangri-la.com, www.shangri-la.com/rasaria), meanwhile, tucked farther away in a cove with its own exclusive beachfront and lush forest as backyard, offers more laidback, self-sustaining features such as outdoor activities (orangutan-watching, four-wheel track, golf course, horseback riding) and a wider beach.


Attractive alternative
Cordova believes that, despite their high-end sheen, the Shangri-La resorts can be an attractive alternative destination for Filipino couples looking for a unique wedding or honeymoon setting.

“KK is so near--within two hours lang ‘andito ka na, and it’s so cheap!” he says. Cebu Pacific (tel. 632-7020888 [Manila], 6332-2308888 [Cebu], www.cebupacificair.com) has twice-a-week (Monday and Friday) budget flights to Kota Kinabalu, and is the only Filipino airline servicing this route.

“In terms of time and cost, parang Cebu and Davao lang when you come here. Going to Shangri-La Mactan costs almost the same. But with KK, why not pay as if you’re traveling domestic--but you’re actually going overseas?”

It’s an enticing proposition to practical-minded couples who are on the lookout for wedding or honeymoon venues that veer away from the tried, tested and photographed to death.


Perhaps the most prominent Filipino wedding Rasa Ria has hosted so far is that of Leo Po and Marielle Santos, scions of two of Manila’s wealthy families, who flew in 250 guests to the resort last year.

“Kota Kinabalu was our first option because we had visited the resort and really enjoyed our stay. Unlike Boracay, Palawan and Cebu, it’s a fairly unique and unused venue,” the couple was quoted as saying in social chronicler Maurice Arcache’s column for this paper.


It’s the kind of thumbs-up that makes Cordova and Cathy Nepomuceno, the Filipina director of sales and marketing of Rasa Ria, hopeful that more of their kababayan from across the sea would make the leap.

“For couples, iba talaga ang impact of having their wedding in a venue like ours kasi overseas, pero ang gastos parang domestic lang,” says Nepomuceno.

Not to mention the romance of saying their ‘I do’s’ in a city pledged to the legend of a woman who kept the torch for her beloved even beyond death.


[Last photo: Lito Sy]

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