Friday, January 15, 2010

Honey-bunny on four legs

The latest news from the lifestyle front: a pet spa has been sighted in BF Paranaque. This comes on the heels of a host of newfangled amenities we've created for our furry friends such as pet salons, pet day care centers, pet-friendly malls, pet fashion shows, etc.

Pet grooming has also gone home-service now. The guys park their van in front of your home, you bring your pet to them, and, in a few minutes, out comes a freshly prettified canine, or feline, or reptile (meron kaya?). The boss was witness to this recently. Seeing one such van parked in a neighbor's yard, she asked her son to have their dog groomed, too. The boy came back in a jiffy. Di daw pwede, by appointment lang daw sila, he reported.

The boss was flabbergasted. Ako nga nakaka-walk in pa sa parlor, she said, laughing. Ang aso ngayon strictly by appointment na!

At the rate things are going, I wouldn't be surprised if a restaurant or bar that's strictly for pets only opens soon. Eukanuba and Pedigree should begin offering gourmet meals, and culinary schools might as well churn out chefs specializing in pet cuisine. How about a mall exclusive for the four-legged kind? On one side are the beauty services outlets--barbershop, salon, dentist, nail spa; on the other are the fashion stores, offering everything from signature collars and leashes to jewelry and bling. Perhaps a Fitness First branch, too, for Muning and Bantay?

My colleague Lito and I are thinking of putting up a pet columbary--the next step in this evolution, we think. After we've pampered and petted and fussed over our loyal darlings for years, we can't just bury them in our stinky backyard after they expire, right? They deserve a resting place equally as comfortable as the lives they've led.

Enter Pet Sematary. Oops, bad name for the columbary we have in mind, which should be a dignified, elegant affair offering the works--from full-throttle wakes with crying lady cats, if one desires, to more discreet quick cremations with only family members (including the indifferent hamster, but not the potty-mouthed parrot) in attendance. Then a grand vault as their final destination--customized epitaphs optional. (To steal a line from the late director Chaning Carlos: “Here lies Blackie, who forgot to breathe.”)

Eventually, with humans and their pets becoming more and more inseparable, a phenomenon visible among folks who've grown old together will happen. We'd start looking like our pets. I wouldn't mind ending up a twin to Marsha, my friends Allan and Ken's super-sweet Maltese and the nearest pet I have (the condo where I live forbids them--drat). In fact, I know some people who'd benefit from an increased resemblance to, say, a handsome beagle or a cute koala.

The rub comes in if your pet is an iguana. Good luck na lang. No amount of time in the spa can remedy that.


ikeniru said...

Hey Gibbs,

Marsha's not a Maltese... She's an American Cocker Spaniel. :D

gibbs cadiz said...

ay, i stand erected! lol. kainis ang roy, siya sisihin mo at mali ang sagot when i asked him kung ano lahi ni marsha. :)

Anonymous said...

Roy is your source? O well!


homer said...

i heart koala's, and this post too.

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