Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Bossa and bisexuals of the faux kind

Bossa Meets Madonna. Bossa Meets Air Supply. Bossa Meets Whitney. I've also seen Bossa Meets The Beatles, Bossa Meets Reggae, Bossa Meets New Wave, Bossa Meets Broadway, Bossa Meets Andrew Lloyd Webber. Heaven forbid there's a Bossa Meets Sondheim coming up, but at the rate this sub-genre keeps cannibalizing the world's collective songbook--flattening, distorting, draining the life and originality out of good songs and real music and homogenizing them into aural wallpaper--who knows? Bossa Meets Hard Metal, anyone? Bossa Meets Kundiman? A trend catches the barest of fires, it has to be milked to the bone--the record companies' homage to the concept of reductio ad absurdum. After their bloodless, mechanical facsimile of the sleek Brazilian beat has gutted the entire musical stockpile, it might even turn on itself for the ultimate act of self-fellatio: Bossa Meets Bossa. Now, that would be interesting. Look what you've done, Sitti.

Aww, what have they done to one of my favorite Cinemalaya films? Bi now gay later? I can't stop giggling. The demented copywriter-movie pirate behind this cover might not have realized it, but his invented tagline is the perfect shorthand for the kind of dodge many young Pinoy gay men resort to these days. Or haven't you noticed--on MIRC the Gay-Manila chatroom is long gone, replaced by Bi-Manila. In this town no one's gay anymore at a young age, only bi. Meaning, of course, not that they swing both ways (yuckiedooders), only that they're more butch, “straight-acting”--or they think they are. There you have it: evolving sexual constructs in a witty nutshell. Even in pirated form, Jay deserves better packaging and a more germane tagline (no, the movie has nothing to do with bi-to-gay transitions). But this one's a keeper.

5 comments:

David said...

Yeah, some just use the "bossa" excuse to do some lazy or off-key singing. Then again, there are some amazing, well-thought of versions like some tracks in the CompanY's Destination Bossa.

LOL at the pirated Jay dvd. Write Francis Pasion for a copy! He sold some limited copies when he received an award for the arts in Ateneo last year. He and Baron even signed it! :-D

Anonymous said...

it's kind of funny and intriguing.

Nimrod said...

"swing both ways (yuckiedooders)"

i agree!

the subtitle made me smile. so funny... :)

Anonymous said...

Let us not buy pirated. period.

beektur said...

The tagline of the century! LOL

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