Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Since we're on the subject of 'beaucons'...

Reposting an old favorite--


Mandaya Moore has a hilarious account of a recent gay beauty contest he attended, ending with this Q&A:

Question: What is your best asset and why?

Mahal (that's the name of the contestant): Good evening ladies and gentlemen, board of judges, barangay captain. Thank you for that very beautiful question. What is my best asset and why? My best asset? My eyes. Because with my eyes I can see the world tonight with Loren Legarda and Angelo Castro Jr. Thank you.


Which had me recalling my own treasure trove of "beaucon" Q&A stories, some true, some fanciful. Here goes:

Story #1. This happened in Albay.

Emcee: Contestant No. 7, here's your question: What is your favorite animal, and why?

Contestant: (Confident) My favorite animal is a bird, because it can fly, it symbolizes freedom!

(Audience claps wildly.)

Emcee: Good answer! So what is your favorite bird?

Contestant: My favorite bird is ah... eh... chicken.

Story #2. Somewhere in Laguna

Emcee: Here's your question. Titanic was called the ship of dreams. Why?

Contestant: (Thinks long and hard, crowd beginning to hoot). Ahh... Flis rifit.

Emcee: Your question is, Titanic was called the ship of dreams. Why?

Contestant: (Thinks long ang hard again, then...) That's true.

Story #3. Just heard this from a friend.

Emcee: What is your motto in life?

Contestant: My motto in life? Opportunity knocks but once and I thank you!

Story #4. A recent male beauty pageant in Intramuros

Emcee (Boy Abunda no less): Contestant so-and-so, eto ang tanong. Ano sa tingin mo ang natatanging kaugalian nating mga Pinoy na dapat nating pahalagahan at ipamana sa ating mga anak?

Contestant: Dapat ho tayo magtapon ng basura.

Story #5. Joke making the rounds

Emcee: What do you think is the biggest problem facing the youth today?

Contestant: Drugs.

(Audience cheers.)

Emcee. Well said! Why do you say drugs?

Contestant: Ang mahal kasi e!

Story #6. Not Q&A, but funny nonetheless.

This girl has joined and lost in so many beauty contests, and she's deeply frustrated. One Sunday it's her turn to do the reading at Mass. She begins:

A reading from the letter of Paul... (flings her arms up) TO HEBREW CITY!

PLUS: You've seen this, haven't you? The money moment is at 2:29--and top 15 pa lang yan!


Anonymous said...

parang pangit na impression ito na a day before the tragedy, may ganito pa tayong attitude OVER A BEAUTY CONTEST. YUP, venus raj is a reason to celebrate, but there are bigger things happening in our country than this. pangit na impression ang ipakita na ang ating mga bading sa lipunan ay walang pakialam sa nangyayari sa ating bansa. may reaction na ba tayo na nakuha man lang mula sa mga groups tulad ng gabriela at ladlad sa nangyari, WALA!..

Anonymous said...

self-righteous debbie downer alert! someone needs to lighten up...

Anonymous said...

self-righteous debbie downer alert! someone needs to lighten up... --> buti nang maging self righteous kaysa naman tulad ng iba na makanood lang ng cats or miss univ happy na. at sa kababawan umiikot ang mundo. baka tulad ka nito,

suggest ko, magbabasa basa ka para lumawak ang pananaw mo. kaya naman pala natalo ang ladlad eh dahil ang babaw ng mga bakla sa pinas

Anonymous said...

gibbs, you always have strong opinions on social matters, curious to find out your take on the hostage taking crisis. hindi ba "theatrical" din naman ang nangyayari dito? :)

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